When we knew the twins were coming, I wanted to prepare Dhruthi for more than the label “big sister”. She was six, and her everyday life with Amma and Appa was about to change. Our preparation focused on three things: making siblinghood familiar, helping her do more independently, and protecting her connection with us.
During pregnancy: make siblings relatable
We talked about our own sibling journeys and characters she already loved, including Bluey and Bingo. It gave us familiar starting points for talking about affection, disagreements and the fact that siblings do not feel the same way about each other every minute.
We also kept the expectations realistic. Newborns would need a lot of care; they would not arrive ready to be playmates.
Build independence with tools she could use
We trained and supported her for activities she could begin herself. An accessible art and craft corner was one example: materials within reach, with room for her to choose and get started. The aim was to give her something she owned, rather than simply asking her to wait while we were busy.
Our independent-play system grew from the same need. Reading, routines, games and art became ways for her to practise doing things with less adult direction.
Create a “beside me” rhythm
This was a change we wanted to practise before the babies arrived. Instead of every shared moment depending on us doing the same activity, there could also be moments when we were beside each other.
Reading was an example: moving from reading to her every time, towards reading alongside one another. After the twins arrived, she could read or craft nearby while I fed or held a baby. Being occupied did not have to mean being disconnected.
Protect one-on-one time
Our intention was 15 fully present minutes with Mom and Dad twice a day, alongside weekend dates. Those moments gave her time when the activity was about her and our relationship, without the babies becoming the centre of the conversation.
After arrival: include her without making care her job
Smruthi and Skanda arrived on 5 July 2026. Dhruthi could take part in small ways, such as choosing their nightwear, while still having permission to be a child herself.
We wanted her to have room for mixed feelings, too. Excitement and frustration can exist together. Our language mattered: we tried to explain what we were doing without making the babies the reason she could not have us.
Keep connection at the centre
None of this was a promise of a perfectly smooth transition. It was a way to prepare our family for a real change: give Dhruthi more confidence in what she could do, and keep showing her that she still had a place beside us.